After a rather interesting morning, the secret-project is doing exactly what I set out to accomplish! It's alllive!
(I found a way to segfault the ghc runtime first. And then I also managed to crash firefox, and finally managed to crash and hard-hang rsync.)
All that remains to be done now is to clean up the user interface. I made propellor's output be displayed in the web browser, but currently it contains ansi escape sequences which don't look good.
This would probably be a bad time to implement a in-browser terminal emulator in haskell, and perhaps a good time to give propellor customizable output backends. I have 3 days left to completely finish this project.